Image of stress analysis of a bridge using some of that fancy software stuff. This is the physical application of physical/mechanical stress management.
I've been thinking about fear, bravery and self-preservation a lot lately. Last blog I considered the difference between brave vs. fearless. When I think of brave I see a face filled with resolve, maybe they are clenching their jaw as they process the difficult situation. Whereas when I think of fearless I see a face that is calm, resigned to their reality, maybe they are actualizing denial of the situation with their demeanor. Or maybe they aren't feeling the weight of their predicament for whatever reason.
Here is an object lesson on fearless. I walk my dog. I walk my dog a lot. A "good" walk for my dog would be an hour or two. We try to walk off leash as much as we can, sort of as practice. If I can get her to behave and get used to thinking of herself as off leash, the easier it is to control her off leash. In the event that I need to go hunting, or in the event of a zombie uprising, or in the event that all forms of government fail, me and my dog will already be practiced in communicating without a leash. Do you think you could walk your dog with a leash while running from zombies? Can your dog effectively tell you where small game is while tethered to you?
Anyway. I got lucky. My dog is a damn good dog. We usually walk in a sparsely populated neighborhood. There is very light traffic, but I can control her enough to avoid endangering herself from vehicles. We are working on the situation where I need her to stick close to me because I feel uncomfortable with her being too far. We aren't there yet, but we just need more practice... Anway.
We have a route which goes around a large treatment center, then we come down a residential street back to the house. Well on Monday, we were coming back from walking the big circle and we walk in front of neighbors house. I try to keep dog from going into this yard with my vocal commands as this neighbor has expressed frustration in picking up dog poop. It's probably not my dog's poop but all the same I want to be considerate.
Well on this day we are walking by this yard. This neighbor's relative is visiting and they have dogs that they also keep off leash.
My little dog walks down the hill into their yard where two very protective, very territorial bullies are hanging out. I don't know who started it but a fight breaks out. It's loud, there are jaws snapping, bodies flying and fishtailing trying to land teeth into flesh. My first thought is to not panic, my dog has gotten into fights before, it is usually louder than it is violent. Dog's have a need to assert themselves and they use all their abilities to do this including vocal intimidation, posturing, dog boxing etc.
My dog gets a reprieve by backing into the bushes where she can get at them one at a time. I try to grab her without getting bit. They dance some more, I am finally able to grab her. While she is in my arms she writhes and wriggles to get down and gets back into the fight. The next time I grab her I am sure to get a real good hold on her and we walk back to the house.
The point of this story is that my dog was fearless. She is ok. She got some scrapes and bruises, and was sore for a day but she's more or less ok.
Being fearless without an accurate concept of reality will really only end up with you getting hurt.
-M. Scott Peck
Bravery or fearlessness without a healthy concept of reality is foolish. My dog was fearless thinking she could handle two aggressive dogs by herself. However much spunk, spirit, tenacity or ferocity she has she cannot take on two dogs at once. That's' called arrogance and will get you into trouble.
As it applies to me, what am I confident about? Is my confidence based in reality? Why or why not? This exercise has the potential to be both affirming and humiliating - or as they say in mental health circles: "right sizing".
Anyway. Stress. This week I am being conscious of what stresses me and why. Then communicating this stress to healthy people and addressing what a healthy reaction would be.
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